officialunitedstates:

in the event of a global pandemic, you’ll be safe if you remain at a sink permanently washing your hands

bb-skunk:

creativity like “yo”,

attention span like “no”.

The Queen of Wolves, she’s called. Isn’t that right?
It is. You’d best not use that name in her presence, though, or you’re like to get bitten.

humoristics:

a guy once told my lesbian friend that being a lesbian is a huge turn off for guys and that she’ll never find a boyfriend.

silentshivers:

literally how does anyone not believe in aliens

are u really so anthropocentric that you think there are millions and billions and trillions of light years of the ever expanding universe but we’re the only life to possibly exist smh

I’m working on being zen. You know that little plant emoji - on the iphone - that’s like my little symbol for being zen.”

Credit